When Someone Believes in You Before You Do

A few years ago, I did something wild. I signed up for my first marathon. I was 49. I had no real running history. And I had 8.5 months to train.

Some people might say that’s lots of time, but not when you’re starting from scratch. Still, I had this dream. And a deep-down voice that kept whispering, “Do it.”

To sweeten the motivation, I chose a race in another country. A destination marathon. I figured the commitment would keep me focused and maybe help convince my hubby it was a good idea too.

I joined a running club called Sole Experience Running Co. and maybe slightly exaggerated my experience to get into the half-marathon group (shhh… don’t tell Coach Eric).

The training was hard. But it was also fun. I showed up, ran several times a week, and slowly began to find my rhythm. I made new friends. I survived 16 weeks of training and ran my very first race; the BMO Half-Marathon in Vancouver. It was exciting, painful, and exhausting. And honestly, kind of magical.

Then came the real work. I hired Coach Eric for a personal run program. He gave me weekly schedules, full of guidance, encouragement, and a quiet confidence in me I didn’t fully understand at the time.

But my body was hurting. I was tired already. I had gone from zero to a hundred without letting myself truly recover. Still, I pushed through. And for anyone who’s trained for a marathon, you’ll know , there’s a point in peak training, where everything starts to feel like too much.

The mileage is long. Your legs are tired. Your mind is full of doubt.

It’s not just physical. It’s also mental. And it’s heavy.

I hit that wall. And deep in the abyss, I told Coach Eric I wasn’t sure I could finish within my goal time. His response?

“You could finish in that time right now.”

No hesitation. No fluff. Just certainty.

I felt something in me shift. And just like that… I believed it too.

The Turnaround: Borrowing Belief

His words landed somewhere deep. They filled the space where my fear and self-doubt had been living.

I took his belief and made it my own.

I let go of my doubts and picked up his certainty.

His belief replaced mine. And it worked.

I finished my training.

I ran my marathon.

I crossed the finish line within my goal time.

Why Did This Happen? What Science Says About Belief

When someone truly believes in us, it has a powerful effect, not just on our emotions, but deep in our brain. Our brains are always paying attention, and they’re wired to follow the messages we feed them. The thoughts we repeat, the words we hear, the stories we tell ourselves, they all shape how our brain wires, fires, and shows up for us. Here’s what’s happening behind the scenes when someone believes in us before we do:

1. Neuroplasticity: When someone believes in us, and we take that belief in, our brain starts rewiring. Repeated positive thoughts and encouragement activate new neural pathways. These build new patterns, stronger confidence, improved motivation, and better emotional regulation.

2. Mirror neurons: Our brains are wired for connection. When we see someone believe in us, we actually feel it. Mirror neurons fire, allowing us to experience their emotion, in this case, confidence, as if it’s our own.

3. Cortisol vs. Dopamine: Fear and doubt spike cortisol. But encouragement and belief? That boosts dopamine and oxytocin; two chemicals tied to motivation, energy, and trust. That belief literally fuels our system to do the thing.

4. Self-Efficacy: This is the belief in your ability to succeed. It grows when someone we trust believes in us; especially if they’re a coach, mentor, or friend. Their belief helps shape our own.

   
   

So when Coach Eric told me I could do it, my brain didn’t just hear words. It registered a new reality. And I ran with it … literally.

Key Takeaways

• Belief is contagious.

• When we borrow someone’s confidence, we can rewrite our own limits.

• Encouragement changes how our brain works and what we believe is possible.

• If you're a leader, coach, friend, teacher, healthcare professional, parent, or whoever you are, never underestimate the power of your belief in someone. It might be the exact thing they need to move forward.

  
  

In the End

That marathon changed me. Not because I crossed a finish line, but because I learned something bigger: Someone else’s belief in you can become your own.

And once you believe in yourself, even just a little, you’re already halfway there.

So if someone believes in you?

Let it sink in.

And if no one’s said it to you yet, let me be the first.

You’ve got this.

Want more like this? Every week, I share honest stories, helpful strategies, and real reflections on brain health, mindset, and resilience.

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